“A Man Still Learning to Follow”

There was a point in my life when I realized something wasn’t lining up.

I was a believer.I cared about God.I would have told you I was following Him.

But when I looked closer… I saw something I hadn’t noticed before.

I was available to God—as long as it didn’t interfere with my plans.

It became clear to me in my 30s.

My daughter was growing up, and I could see how much those years mattered. Not just being around—but how I showed up as a father.

I remember making small decisions that started to shift things.Choosing to be home more.Letting go of things that were taking time I couldn’t get back.

But underneath all of that was a deeper question:

How do I become the man my family actually needs?

Not just present.Not just trying.

But leading well.

I was raised in a home where faith was real.

My dad used to say something I’ve never forgotten:

“God is always speaking.”

And he lived like it was true.

I watched him wrestle through decisions, talk with my mom about what he felt God was saying, and then step out and follow—even when it didn’t make sense.

That left a mark on me.

But somewhere along the way, I had settled into something easier.

A version of faith that fit my life.

Comfortable. Predictable.

Controlled.

So when I started asking God what it meant to be a good husband… a good father… a good man—

What I sensed wasn’t complicated.

It was direct.

“Follow Me.”

Not when it’s convenient.Not when you’ve got it all figured out.

Just… follow.

I wish I could tell you I jumped in without hesitation.

I didn’t.

But I did make a decision—a quiet one that no one else really saw at the time.

I was going to follow God differently.

More honestly.More obediently.Less on my terms.

That decision changed the direction of my life.

It led into things I didn’t expect—adventure, risk, failure, growth, and more than a few moments where I had no idea what I was doing.

It hasn’t always been easy.

But I can say this now, years later:

It’s been good.

My daughters are grown now.

And one of the most meaningful moments for me came when I sensed God say something I didn’t expect:

You’ve done well. You raised them in the way they should go.

I remember asking, “Does that mean I can take my hands off?”

But what I believe He was showing me was this:

They didn’t just hear what you said.They saw how you lived.

They saw a man trying to follow.

That’s what stays with people.

Not perfection.

Not having all the answers.

But a life that’s actually moving with God.

That’s what I’m still after.

At 65, with grandchildren now watching, I find myself wanting the same thing I wanted years ago:

To be a man who is still listening.Still responding.Still following.

Because I’ve come to believe this:

The best thing a man can give his familyis a life that is fully alive.

Not perfect.Not controlled.

But alive—and responsive to God.

That’s the journey I’m on.

Let me ask you this—

Where in your life have you been available to God…but still holding onto control?