How to Be Thankful

What do you do when life feels so dark that you can't think of anything to be thankful for?

Many years ago, when I was in my late thirties, I was trying to follow God and get to a place where I could be more at one with Him and His will for my life.

But I had also made a lot of decisions without Him.

Some out of ambition.

Some out of trying to secure my future.

Some, probably, out of ego.

And I had gotten myself into a tough place financially. I had dug a hole for myself, and I couldn't see a way out.

Almost every day, I lived with fear and dread.

I was working. I was doing everything I could to survive. I was juggling a lot of balls and desperately trying to keep them all in the air.

Most people didn't know.

Most of my friends didn't know how desperate I felt. Most of the people at my church didn't know. I was embarrassed to tell anyone how far in over my head I had gotten.

But inside, my spirit was crushed.

It ate away at my soul.

It ate away at my heart.

My thoughts had become so dark that even though I was crying out to God, I couldn't seem to hear or feel His response.

Honestly, my prayers weren't filled with much expectation.

They were cries of desperation.

Then something happened that began to change me.

What Are You Thankful For?

I was doing a Bible study at the time, and one of the exercises was very simple:

Make a list of the things you are thankful for.

I remember sitting there looking at that exercise and thinking,

There's nothing right now that I feel thankful for.

Everything felt overwhelming.

Hard.

Difficult.

Dark.

All I could see was destruction, loss and chaos.

But Scripture says:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”—1 Thessalonians 5:18

Notice what it doesn't say.

It doesn't say to give thanks for every circumstance.

It says to give thanks in every circumstance.

I certainly didn't feel thankful.

But I started anyway.

Breath in My Lungs

I wish I had that original list sitting in front of me right now. I still have it somewhere.

But I believe the first thing I wrote down was simply:

Breath in my lungs.

I was breathing.

I was alive.

That didn't suddenly give me hope. It didn't solve my financial problems. It didn't erase the debt or change my circumstances.

But it was something.

So I wrote down the next thing.

Food to eat every day.

Then my beautiful four-year-old daughter and how much I loved her.

My wife, who had stood beside me and was still standing beside me.

My family.

My home.

A warm bed to sleep in every night.

A car to drive.

Friends.

A church.

And I kept writing.

The psalmist says:

“Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.”—Psalm 103:2

That's exactly what I had been doing.

I had forgotten.

I had spent so much time thinking about everything that might go wrong and everything I might lose that I had stopped seeing everything God had already given me.

And as I continued to write, something in my spirit began to shift.

Something in my heart began to change.

Nothing Had Changed—But Something Had Changed

My circumstances hadn't changed.

The debt was still there.

The problems were still there.

The things I feared were still possible.

But what I was looking at had changed.

Instead of seeing only what I might lose, I began seeing what I had.

Instead of rehearsing my fears, I began remembering God's gifts.

And eventually, my list brought me to the greatest thing I had.

God Himself.

I had Jesus Christ.

I had a Savior who had come into this world and died for my sins.

I had salvation.

I had eternity with Him.

And somewhere in that process, something happened that Paul describes in Philippians:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 4:6–7

That's what I experienced.

Not the disappearance of my problems.

Peace in the middle of them.

I came away with this tremendous sense of assurance and contentment.

God had me.

God Had Me

That's what I needed to know.

Even if everything I feared came true...

God had me.

Even if I lost my house...

God had me.

Even if I lost my cars...

God had me.

Even if my financial situation became worse...

God had me.

I still had my wife.

I still had my daughter.

I still had my family.

I still had Jesus Christ.

I still had my salvation.

I still had eternity.

And I began to understand:

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”—Psalm 46:1

He wasn't somewhere far away waiting for me to fix everything.

He was there.

He had me.

That became a pivotal moment in my life.

Start Your List

So I want to offer you the same thing that was offered to me all those years ago.

If you're in a place of hopelessness...

desperation...

fear...

chaos...

inadequacy...

worthlessness...

loneliness...

or you simply can't see how things are going to work out...

start writing.

What are you thankful for?

Don't wait until you feel thankful.

And don't do this apart from God.

Do it with Him.

Ask Him to show you what you've stopped seeing.

Maybe it's the roof over your head.

Maybe it's the blanket you slept under last night.

Maybe it's your husband or your wife.

Maybe it's your child.

Maybe it's a friend.

Maybe it's the meal you just ate or the meal you're going to eat tonight.

And if you're struggling to think of anything at all, start where I started.

Take a breath.

Feel the air fill your lungs.

And say:

Thank You, God, for this breath.

Write it down.

Then write the next thing.

And the next.

And the next.

You may discover what I discovered all those years ago.

Thankfulness doesn't require everything in your life to be good.

It opens your eyes to the goodness of God in the middle of everything that isn't.

Your circumstances may not change.

But something inside you might.

So start your list.

Start with your next breath.

And give thanks to God.