When I Turned Around

In my last post, I shared the moment when I realized something simple:

If I wanted to be the man my family needed…I needed to follow God.

But what I didn’t share is what that actually looked like.

The picture I had at the time has stayed with me ever since.

It was as if God had always been right behind me.

Close.Present.Faithful.

Almost like He was tapping me on the shoulder.

And every once in a while, I would turn just enough to notice.Just enough to respond.Just enough to say, “Thank you.”

And to be honest—that wasn’t nothing.

There were times I did respond.Times I stepped into things God put in front of me.Even seasons where I would have told you I was pursuing Him.

But looking back, I can see it more clearly now.

It was still Him pursuing me.

Still Him getting my attention.Still Him tapping me on the shoulder.

And me… responding in moments—instead of living turned toward Him.

And what I realized in that season was this:

God had never moved.

He had always been there.Always pursuing.Always ready.

The problem wasn’t His presence.

It was my posture.

I had been living with my back turned toward Him…while still calling myself someone who followed Him.

That realization hit deeper than I expected.

Because it wasn’t just about missed moments.

It was about everything He had done for me.

His patience.His pursuit.His faithfulness over the years.

Even to the point of the cross.

And something shifted in me.

Not out of guilt.Not out of pressure.

But out of a deep awareness:

He had given His full attention to me.And I had been giving Him partial attention in return.

So I made a decision.

Not just to be available to God when it worked for me…

But to turn and face Him.

To listen. To wait.

To respond.

It was a change in posture.

And over the next few years, that decision began to redirect my life.

Not all at once.But steadily.

At the time, I thought it meant something familiar.

I assumed it would lead into traditional ministry—going back to school, stepping into something I understood.

That was the only framework I had.

And I was willing.

I told my wife. My family.And my brother—who was also my business partner at the time.

I was ready to go wherever God led.

But what I’ve learned since then is this:

God is often more committed to our calling than we are.

Because what He led me into wasn’t what I expected.

It didn’t look like a pulpit.

It looked like trails.Campfires.Conversations with men.Walking with them through real life.

It became a life of what I would now call:

full-time availability.

And in that, something unexpected happened.

I didn’t just serve God…

I came alive.

There was joy in it.Freedom in it.A sense that I was finally moving in step with how I was made.

And looking back, I can say this:

That decision—to turn and face Him—has shaped everything.

Not perfectly.

But consistently.

And I believe it’s made me a better husband.A better father.A better man.

Not because I figured it out…

But because I stopped trying to lead my life with my back turned.

I wasn’t ignoring Him—I just wasn’t facing Him.

Let me ask you this—

Where in your life might God be closer than you think…but you’re still facing the other direction?